I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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