I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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