a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
