none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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