Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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