I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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