Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
