I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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