; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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