Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
