What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
