I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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