Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
everyone is single if you try hard enough
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
