I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
