what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
zippers are such a cool invention
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.