White coat. Heels.
Welp...herpes.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like death gave me a hand job
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
