We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE