so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
