So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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