hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
nutella sex= disaster
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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