So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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