Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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