It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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