If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
