Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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