Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
