Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
