never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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