pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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