I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
