i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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