and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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