Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
