I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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