As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
