Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
