he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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