You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize