I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
