His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
