What a fucking waste of an outfit
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
