How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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