So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
