O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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