omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
