Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
