4 words: hood of his car
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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