i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
