actually, I'm a sock model
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
