I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
