We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Two words: nipple clamps
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