i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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