Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
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Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
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I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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