You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize