They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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