I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize