honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
