No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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