Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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