who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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