I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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