we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
