k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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