so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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