I'm drive I can fine osifer
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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