It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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