Can Purell be used as lube?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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