I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
