You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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